AND IT IS GOOD BYE

Though i experienced the worst, you bring out my BEST

first and for all, i really don't know how to start this shit
as far as i remember, i said that my relationship with him was CLOSED
yea, for me. To be exact he doesn't know what was my decision even
our relationship was growing ..
i kept my feelings privately which is "i don't love him anymore"
but there is "something" why i can't say it to him frankly but this
last thursday 04-23-09 we finally broke up ;)


I DON'T WANT TO BE BIAS HERE JUST BECAUSE
THIS IS MY SIDE AND THIS IS MY BLOG

i want to make this short
our story start over the internet and we became good friends
we enjoy each other company. then 12-22-08 we finally and officially
together but reaching that relationship is not as easy as you think we/especially
I went to trials and test. in that day i experience the bitter sweet of my life, Oh no not
bitter it's HELL i go to a lot of pain it's particularly about trust and lie .
No one knew how much pain i experienced i trully gave my best damn cry to him
but i still keep my silence and decide not tell it to him,
i try to give him a chance , i want to give our relationship a chance i want to bring my best in this shit. but i do felt that this relationship or better to say my feelings towards him is not as before
i do feel the magic the love sincerity, but he's a little bit to late
i forgave him but damn those pain is so so so much unforgettable, until now i can't understand why do on earth he lied to me? all i know at that time is our relationship is worth the wait
i do have a lot of sacrifices skip class just to check his OL not to sleep just to wait for him[note:in front of the PC desk] getting wasted even there is an exam at physics and the like. now what i am waiting is the moment i can hardly laughing at loud to those moment :)

so now since i didnt burst all those pain to him i always keep silent
i wish someday he can read it haha ! i am not doing this because i want
some scenes, or get your attention to my blog i am doing this because
i think it can help me to loosen up :)



TO YOU : mush

All i want to say is thank you, you were susch a good [lier]
friend and a boy friend to me yes i do felt your love but it's a little bit too late
hindi mo lang alam kung gano ko hinintay yung araw na mahalin mo ko ng ganito
i learned a lot thanks :) just want you to know that i dont have any regrets with our relationship
i am thankful you let me experienced the "love" you let me feel special you let me feel how i am important you let me feel the magic. i don't care if that was sincere nor another lie.

ngayon ko lang nalaman hindi pala ako yung mahirap mag tiwala, simula pala sa una ikaw na yung walang tiwala saken,wala kang tiwala na may kaya mag mahal sayo . hindi mo ba naisip kung gano ka unfair saken yung mga ginawa mo ?
lahat ng pictures ko nakita mo, kung pano ko ngumite anung itsura ko sa school anung itsura ko pag masaya ako. hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit tinatago mo yang pagkatao mo , sa umpisa pa lang mahirap na lalo na pag sinabi nila "san kayo nag kakilala" hindi mo alam kung gano ko paren ka proud sabihin sakanila na internet
kase naniniwala ako sa relationship naten, sobrang ang selfish mo hindi mo manlang ako hinayaang
maramdaman ka. sobrang saket saken tanggapen na in love ako over the internet, sobrang saket kapag tinatanong kung baket pate saken hindi ka nagpapakita .
na realize mo ba kung gano ka sobra ka unfair ?

But the funny thing here is even i experienced the worst you bring out my BEST


♥ mushmush



since this blog experienced a lot, especially my moments with him
i want to give myself a favor to change my blog
so yeah goodbye to rainfallmakestar awtsx
yea it really hurts im so inlove with this blog this is my first and only blog
of the but then i choose to move on i wish you guys know how it really hurts . and this blog is truly one witnessed of the bitter sweet of my life thanks a lot
i will definitely missed it ;(


* so now i am in the process of thingking of
another new name of my blog hihi ;)

♥♥ JANN

THINK POSITIVE IT'S NEGATIVE

*NOTE: FOR THOSE WHO READ THE FIRST POST , HELL ! YOU MUST READ THIS ONE :D

paunang sulat: sorry cheesy at mahaba to !

This past 1 or 2 weeks gawd it was the most terrible week for me
i mean is , about the "something within my tummy" and now I'm happy to tell that
ehem! for those who are concern lng nmn .. there is no true about the pregnant thing
of a monster HECK ! (how come i imagine that ?!) but the true concern of mine is what is was happened in my body,now imagine how happy i am now :D


but this thing really damage me i am only 17 and my whole family
got alarm about it . friday, april 17 2009 i finally seek an OBgyne
i'm with my cousin we just went to a small clinic just to think of it it's
for pregnant,children infants and the like .. so imagine how i am shame
when the girl ask me "are you pregnant" and the whole crowd
is with me, heck ! WTF !

after a long wait a 3 hours to be exact , the doctor finally called me
then i tell it all, that there is something beating in my tummy
that i am delayed and all that ..she ask me if i drink and i said YES YES YES ! LOL
DR: do you smoke?
me: and i inhale.pause.exhale PUFF ? is that acceptable answer ?
DR:do you have a boy friend ?
me: aw no i don't why do you prefer one ? *BIG SMILE here*
DR: did you have any contacts
me: uhmmm what ? inhale.pause.exhale. hell no ! ( well that's what i want her to be answer but i want to be polite hoho !)
uhmm wala pa po ..
DR: do you wan't to take a P.T.
me: uhmm sure
(what i really felt is taking that p.t. is totaly a slap of me ! i really want to tell to myself that "JAN ! WHAT THE FUCK ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT DAMN TEST ?! HELL ! THERE'S NO TRUE OF PREGGY THING YOU KNOW THAT TO YOURSELF, WHY ARE TAKING THAT ?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU! JAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?! ")

after she gave me the receipt that she wan't me to take a P.T.
i went to the consultation desk (i think), and there is a woman she's
prolly a part of that clinic . she was shock when she read the notice the
"recuired P.T. thing " especially when her eyes rolly spotted that i am only 17 and ask me
woman : may asawa kana neng ?
me: (not in duh mood to answer) huh wala pa po

heck ! really she's really in shock when she read it . LOL !

"my cousin said : bakit ka pumayag mag PT ? kung alam mung
wala ka ginawa bat ka mag PT ?
( well , at that time i want to give her an around of applause ! she's
prolly right )
me: para matapos na, pano kung may monster nga dito ? bigla nlng sumulpot
cousin: maging realistic ka kase pano ka mabubuntis kung walang ngyare ?
yung mga nababasa mo eh hindi yun totoo . imposible yun .
me: eh kase si *ex* lage sinasabe may problema ako
he always throw this lines ..
ex: sabihin mo kung may problema ka huh ?
alam ko may problema ka .
wag ka mahiya mag sabi ng prob lema
ano ba problema mo ?

so ang naisip ko may problema nga ba tlga ako ? tapos monday nung nakita ko sarili ko ang taba taba ko and sobra ako na depressed .. at nung wednesday naisip ko bakit wala pa ko , tapos biglang tumibok yung tyan ko ..(which is normal pala
because there is a vein connecting to your heart ) so feeling ko may monster sa tyan ko ..
cousin: wag ka mag pa apekto sa mga tao na nag bibigay sayo ng neagtive
i compose mo yung sarili mo, walang ibang tutulong sayo kung hindi ikaw mismo .
me: aw gawd i wan't to give her a huge hug **

02:15 the result would only be two choices positive or negative
we waited 25 min to get the result and damn ! it feels like
i am in the deathrow . but the only thing goes to my mind is i believe in god and i do believe in myself . i know the truth but i am the kind of person who seek
for evidence for more truths and facts .

My Dr. came out and she has in smile in her face but whe she called me
her face became plain . hell ! i come forward and she invites me in, at her
clinic but heck ! i can't wait so i gaze for some info. when i saw NEGATIVE !
it gave me a smile, and the doctor pinindot (LOL!) my tummy and she surely gave's a negative
and adviceses me not to watch any horror movie especially a FANTASY SERYE
hahaha ! it realy roflmao tlga ! i spend 500 pesos for that idiotic thing
grr ..

And on our way home there is a mother and a baby
bonding , so i said to my cousin what if ? ..
she only give this responce : ISIP BATA KA PA NGA TALAGA
pag dating mo ng 20's pag tatawanan mo yang nagawa mo *put evil laugh here*
me: ndi ko na kailangan dumating ng 20, sobra na ang tawa ko :))

LESSON LEARNED :

• compose myself !

(don't be too affect on what people say
especially when it is negative .)

• having a baby is only made by human contacts !

(gawd ! what am i, a kid ? this is really funneh ! where do on earth
i think that i might be preggy w/o anny make love , damn ! unfair !
wahaha ! i do really think out of the box. i do believe in extraordinary things
so maybe it's time to minimize that attitude )

• there is no true of those myth you read on iNET :D be more optimistic STICK TO REALITY (dawg ! wut happen i know myself as realistic and futuristic and all but this time i loosen up .. ;{ )

• Don't watch any fantaserye roflmao !

(heck ! it's affected me , and it's giving a drama (huh what?)

i also told to my DR. about my fast heartbeat, aw gawd am i in love ? lol
but at that time i compose myself , i am not nervous she ask me
if i am an athlete lol ! really i want to do a cartwheel because damn
i don't do any sport hahaha ! and when she check it yes !
she surely say that i had a fast heartbeat then the
Dr. advices me to have an internal medication regarding to my
heart, but seriously hoping for another very positive, safe and happy findings
regarding to my heart ^*

for all those concerned about me , who feel for me
what the ! thank you so much

xox JAN ^*

wutt ? a monster ?

WARNING : IT'S FREAKING LONG MUSHY AND PATHETIC
DON'T BLAME ME FOR NOT WARNING YOU :))

gawd ! there is something sprouting at my stomach and it's freaking me ! seriously !
there is a heartbeat within it! i do a lot of research. no, not a lot i just Google it
and it said that it's normal and blah blah aorta and NOSE FUCKING BLEEDING and like
after a few split second i breathed well inhale. pause. exhale.

but even though i do a research i want to see a doctor actually
here's my problem : ehem !
i am a one month delayed well eventually it's a normal
thing to me and i think i should be more thankful that i am delayed and whatsoevur

my tummy get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger

whollla ! moommaa ! before you think of that !

FIRST ! i am single AND IT'S BY choice *wink*
second ! i am proud and still a virgin yes i am, you read it
right dude , but what the hell what this is happening to me

there is pumping into my tummy, my heart beat is terribly fast
how come i get pregnant without a bf ? without sex ?
demmet ! i don't even got a first kiss !
i know how to preserve myself , i want every single second of my life is
worth living for ! demmet ! what's wrong with me is it me or my body ?

what is this a monster ? or am i virgin mary LOLz it doesn't
fit me anyways ..

it's been a week since i suffering this kind of sick ?
and seriously it's really killing me i need a professional help
a doctor to be exact maybe next week, i said it to my mom
and the conversation goes like this

mom: "nahihilo kba o nasusuka ?
me: hindi po
mom: malaki ba tyan mo ?
me : ma mataba tlga ako, malaki tlga tyan ko
mom: ilang mnth kna delayed ?
me " ma hindi ako buntis ..
mom: hindi ko sinabing buntis ka
me: eh eun din yung pino point mo eh ..


gawd ! this is realy sick ! i don't wan't this i wan't to go out
but the last night i listened to a radio it's papa jack lol !
it's really funny heck ! it makes me rolflmao tlga !
and i realized am i just bored here ? am i just depressed
so because i am thinking of that shits .. oh gawd i pray for that ..

hot sunny wednesday

while i am surfing the net
my lola talk to me , smilingly and she said like this

lola:kumaen kna
me: busog pa po
lola: ano ba nararamdaman mo ? sabe ng ate mo may gumagalaw daw dyan sa tyan mo ?
buntis kaba ?
me : huh ? ina ?! hindi pano ako mabubuntis wala ako bf ?
lola: ikaw wag ka matakot saken magsabi ka kung ano ngyayare sayo ?

************cut the story *********

it's very sad that my family think of that too
well i know they had trust in me, but it's really really
freaking me, i am too young to have a baby jan, in my wildest dream
I'd never dreamed to had an unwanted pregnancy,

but when i think what if , what if it's true imaa momma monstur
hohohohho ! *insert evil laugh here*
maybe it should be cute as him
YIPEEEE !

JANN *wink

ETERNITY PARTY (LIVE OUR NIGHT TO THE FOOLEST)

IT'S MOI BIRTH DAY :))

YIKES AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WILL BE A SO SO SO NORMAL DAY FOR US
ESPECIALLY FOR ME .. i reset my mind that it will be give thanks hugs kiss greeting process
it's my birthday and it's not in the plan to be late :( urgh i can't smile i pity myself for celebrating my seventeenth birthday alone :( with friends :) but while im on the jeep i saw a vandal sign
saying "bawal umihi dito aso ka ba?" hahahaha ! yea! i grin like shit :D
when i saw that whew ! there's nothing to worry about i have a tons of love friends and a family :)
thanks to that sign ^^ i went to school smilingly XD

i am really really nervous even when i am a legendary late all over my life
i felt so nervous tadahhhh .. the guard saw me he want me to log in on his
preety cute record book of legendary late since third year kuya guard
is one of my cherish friend haha ! lols :D
since it's my birth day he allow me to go to the classroom without a sign and greet me ecstaticly :)
at first i saw my classmate and my adviser praying rosary its really akward to
come in but when someone open the door and they are singing happy birth day ...tralalal lalala .. even they are in the wrong note i'ts the BEST for me i was really want to cry but i'm seventeen
whoa! no more drama's allowed :D

in the morning yea i am with my greeting process .. but when my friends refused and want me to celebrate i just think celebrating my seventeen pass only once and i don't want to miss that thing
so the onion party planning start lead by kaye celine marah and ly while the planning goes on

:D haha it's preety obvious it's scripted (the picture) but they are really in a hard time planning the onion party :) while they are planning and i am sitting preety thingking to have an children party on a side ^^ with party hats and baloons but the true concept is a dutdutan party
it's not heavy meal we just want to bond, party hard, drink hard and live our night to the foolest wuhahaha ! ^^
(onion party means : while we are having an english class we are discussing about onion onion means eternity .. it's eternity party )

* ting ! it's 4:30 and we are separating our ways each one has a task buy a cake party hats
ice cream chickhen and a lot more :)
but before we went home i was really touch with the greetings of the teachers
whew ! i almost want to cry :D

i can say my seventeen birthday is a dream come true
i want it to be surprise i want to have a house party i want
to had them .. :D even the surprise is quite scripted
it's the cutest and funniest :D

i don't know how to explain further but it was the BEST UNFORGETTABLE and HAPPIEST BIRTH DAY SO FAR ..

SEVENTEEN :D


* BE OPTIMISTIC :D - yeah i admit i am quite pessimistic person but life is too short to live with negativity worries and fears why not changing it :)

* BE APPRECIATIVE -this year aside from planning and practicing being optimistic i want to be more appreciative i want to appreciate everything anything i want to value my family and all my friends super friends power friends greatest friends best friend and even monster friends rawr !:))

* BE MORE CLOSE TO GOD - heee :) i had a lack of time attending mass but i always pray :) give thanks to all the blessings i received i am not bad after all :D

* LOVE RESPECT TRUST MYSELF - YOWP ! i think this is the hardest part :( i don't love respect trust myself as much i do to others . i don't see the value of my self sense but i know i can and i will :)

* HAVE A SAVINGS - :0 i am very generous when it comes to anything and everything i don't want money to be the hindrance of my happines . i want to be more like lorraine (my friend.mylover.lol) she's the greatest the best when it comes to "kakuriputan"

* BE HAVE - minimize my voice my stupidity annoying monsters and greentitude haha !

* NO EROS FOR THIS YEAR - EROS IS A GREEK WORD MEANS LOVE FOR OTHER SEXES .. YEAH ! IT'S A PLAN I DON'T WANT ANY DISTURBANCE HEADACHE HEARTACHE :) FOCUS ON CONSTANT LOVE !

* BE MORE DANE - HEE ! :)) MY IDOL!! I LOVE THE WAY SHE PUT HERSELF ON A POSSION OF HAPPINESS :) I LIKE ADORE ADMIRE TREASURE BELOVED LIKE RESPECT WORSHIP LOVE THE WAY SHE VOGUE (I ADMIT I MIMIC HER shhhh !)

* FOCUS ON MY GOALS - I WANT TO STUDY WHILE ENJOYING IT :) BEING A STUDENT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE IN LIFE :)

* ENJOY MY SEVENTEENTH - few more months i am turning 18 yikess ! i want it to be unforgettable year for me and for my family and friends :) (note: unforgettable in a good and luck way)



* BE HAPPY JANNIBEE - SMILE SMIRK GRIN LAUGH LIKE SHIT :D

TILL NEXT POST- JAN ^^
more birthday's to come :))
07:26AM

aus naman pala eh ;]

A TWO DAY TIRING YET HAPPY MEMORIES ;]


FIRST DAY : JANUARY 10 , 2009

at 6:00 am i already in front of the PC
checking mails and chatting while waiting
for the "right time" to fix myself ..
tic tac tic tac .. at dahil na enjoy ko yon
hindi ko namalayan ang oras 7:30 dapat
nasa school na ko para makipag meet sa mga
ka group ko para mag interview sa mga tao na nakatira sa
loob ng sementeryo pero 7:20 nasa bahay pa naka upo
at kausap si dwayt haha ! kung hindi pa neya sinabe eh naku
baka hindi nako naka punta . SALAMAT dwayt ;]

habang nag interview kame naiisip ko na
marame pala na dapat tlga ipag pasalamat na hindi natin napapansin
kase puro ang napapansin naten eh ang mga kulang at wala saten
nakakalimutan na mag pasalamat. ^^
nung una lng medyo naging mahirap pero nung sumunod eh parang
excited pa sila i fill up yung form . pag dating namen dun
akala ko walang nakatira akala ko isa o limang pamilya lng ang naandon
NAGULAT NLNG AKO PARANG MAY SUBDIVISION SA LOOB NG
SEMENTERYO . pero ang nakakatuwa doon para silang isang buong pamilya
masasaya mababait hindi mo makikita sa kanila na sobra silang nag hihirap
sana matupad yung wish nila na pag kalipas ng sampung taon eh
maka alis na sila dun . GOD SPEED MGA KAPATEED ! ALL SMILE ^^


AT PAG KATAPOS NUN NAGKITA KAME NI CHUMZ YEY ! ^^
sobrang MASAYA ! sobra ko syang na miss marame kameng
ginawa at marame rin kameng kinain . haha !
sa mocha blends ewan ko ba kung bakit bigla nlng sya nag yaya
at aminado kame na FIRST TIME TO ! haha
pero kahit ganun KERII lang ni enjoy namen bawat
minuto na mag kasama kame walang OFF MOMENTS


SECOND DAY : JANUARY 11, 2009

HIKEES ! EXAM NA SA LA SALLE HINDI TLGA
AKO NAG ARAL NI BASA WALA .. ;[
PERO ANG EXCITING DON MAY M GA NAGING KAIBIGAN AKO
KAHIT SANDALI LNG SI AISHEE NA NAKASABAY KO LNG SA PATHWAY
AT AUN BIGLA NG NAG KA KWENTUHAN AT SI BEIGE
NA KA ROOM KO UMPISA PA LANG ALAM KO NA MAY
ALAM SYA HAHA ! TAPOS NA ANG EXAM BAGO KO NALAMAN NA
PASADO SYA SA ATENEO AT LA SALLE TAFT NG ENTRANCE EXAM
ANG GALEENG ! NAG TAKA LNG AKO BAKIT MAS GUSTO NYA DITO
HAHA ! SANA MAGKITAKITA KAME SA FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ;]

** hindi naman pala ganun ka hirap mag hanap ng kaibigan
kase kung kailangan mo ng kaibigan syempre kailangan din nila
intindihin mo na nga lng =]

pag katapos non mag kasama na nmn kame ni CHUMZ
CHUMXARii namen sa 15 kaya advance celebration yung mgha ngyayare
ang saya saya na nmn lalo ko naisip na hindi ko sya kailangan masaya
ako kay chumz masaya ako sa mga kaibigan ko at sa buhay ko
wala nmn tlga ako problema ginagawan ko lng . bakit ba ko nag mamadali
mag karon ng experience sa love eh yung mga kasama mga kaibigan ko sila mismo
yung nag paparanas saken nun bat nag hahanap pa ko ng mas intense dun
* sa wednesday na yung birthday ko ^^ pero minsan iniisip ko
laktawan yung araw na yun . wala nmn kase mang yayare
hindi na katulad ng date .. ;]



01-12-09
07:32 pm > PC time

HAPPY 3 KINGS

HAPPY NEW YEAR ;)

live my life to the fullest !

EAN THIS YEAR GUSTO KO SULITIN ANG LAHAT
ILANG DAYS NLNG BIRTHDAY KO NA I'M TURNING 17
YIKEEES ! PAG INIISIP KO YUN PARA AKO NABABLIW
PARA KASENG I'M NOT A BABY ANYMORE I NEED TO BE MORE
RESPONSIBLE IN MY EVERY ACTIONS AND DECISIONS. I KNOW
IT'S PRETTY LIKE OVER ACTING BUT I WANT TO TAKE IT EASY
BE GOOD AND HAVE FUN ;)

I'M A PERSON WHO REALLY HATE PLANS
CAUSE I KNOW LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISE IT MAY CHANGE
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD GIVES YOU . "IT'S BETTER TO
PREPARE THAN TO PLAN "

THIS YEAR I WANT TO FOCUS ON MY SELF
I WANT TO CLEAN ALL THE MESS I MAKE
FACE ALL MY FAILURE APPRECIATE ALL THE BLESSINGS
COME TO ME AND MY FAMILY GIVE THANKS, BE MORE CLOSE TO GOD ;]

** OO AKO NAG TYPE NYAN ! KAHIT AKO NANINIBAGO SA MGA SINSABE KO PERO SERYOSO AKO DYAN HAHA !
DAHIL DUN SA PAIN NA NARANASAN KO GUSTO KO MAG PALAKAS
AYOKO MUNA MARAMDAMAN ULI YON . AYOKO MAGING MAN HATER
PERO MAS MAGANDA NARIN YUN MUNA PANANAW KO SAKANILA PARA MAIWASAN ^^


DAHIL NEW YEAR MARAME GUSTO MAG BAGO PERO
KARAMIHAN SA KANILA PERSONAL NA ITSURA ANG BINAGO
AT OO KASAMA AKO DUN PERO IBA PARIN SA PAKIRAMDAM
KUNG NANDUN PARIN YUNG BURDEN PERO SOONER MAWAWALA DIN YUN
"NEW YEAR NEW LIFE " YAN LAGE YUNG SINASABE PAG BAGONG TAON PERO MAS MAGANDA SIGURO KUNG WAG NA NEW LIFE AT MAG RESTART NA NMN NG BUHAY MAS MAGANDA NA KUNG AYUSIN MO NLNG YUNG MGA MALI KUNG MAY AALISIN EDI ALISIN WAG KA MAG BAGO NG MAG BAGO TAPOS SA SUSUNOD NA TAON MAG BABAGO KA NA NMN EH LOKOHAN ATA EUN HAHA !
YAN PANINIWALA KO AT NAG BABASA KA LANG KAYA OO KA NLNG ;]



01-03-08

HONESTLY SAYING ... I AM

hey ! miss this ;]

medyo matagal narin bago ako nakapag post
marami ako gustong i post na hindi ko na post
this december masyadong naging mabilis saken ang lahat

updates :

december 13 2008
FINALLY me and panda(jhon ryan he's a human dude!)
met at mega mall it should be 12 noon pero dumating ako
almost 4 in the afternoon hindi ko eun sinasadya
kung may pake elam ka sa balita non eh may kasalukuyang
may rally sa makati non kaya traffic ;]
YAH he's cute hawig nga nung boyfriend ng friend ko
haha kaya tawa ako ng tawa hindi ko alam nararamdaman
nya kung kinakabahan disapointed nahihiya o suplado lng tlga
nung nilapitan ko sya wala lang , huminga ako ng malalim
tapos ngite sabay HI ! honestly hindi ko tlga sya mahal
after that wala na kame communication which is good dahil ayoko na
lokohin yung sarile ko . and yun wala lang ..

** sayo : sorry and thank you ;]

DECEMBER 18 2008

APAW ! SA SAYA NARAMDAMAN KO NUNG ARAW NA TO
YES ! finally TAPOS NA YUNG EXAM AT CHRISTMAS PARTY NA
YEY ! HAHA xD TAPOS NAKA USAP KO NARIN SYA
OO SYA SI RENIER NGA ;] YUNG ARAW NA TO HINDI KO MA EXPLAIN
PARANG SOBRANG ADVANCE NA REGALO SAKEN SA CHRISTMAS
TAPOS NAKUHA PA NAMEN YUNG GRAD PIC NAMEN AYE ! ETO NA TO
MALAPEEET NA ! NAKAKA LUNGKOT KUNG IISIPIN DIN NA BILANG
NA ANG ARAW NAMEN SA HIGH SCHOOL ;[ TAPOS AUN NANALO PA KAME NI
LY ANN(BHiE) SA GAMES 100 PESOS ! AYE ! HAHA MAY PANG INOM NA KAME
PAG KATAPOS SA SCHOOL SYEMPRE ALAM NA ! DIRETCHO SA BAHAY
AT MAY SESSION PERO HINDI NAKASAMA SI RHEIN AT MARAH HAY ! IBA TLGA PAG MAY BOY FRIEND HIRAP SA TIME ;[
AT DAHIL SA KALASINGAN NAKAPAG SABE AKO NG HARSH WORD KAY RENIER
HINDI KO ALAM BASTA NLNG AKO NAGALIT . KASE FEELING KO HINDI SYA YUNG NAG TEXT SAKEN TAPOS EWAN BASTA GANUN . AT NAG DRAMA NAKO KAY KAYE ;] SOBRANG IYAK NA NAMAN AKO AKALA KO ANG LAKI NA NG PROBLEMA KO MAS MATINDI PA PALA YUNG SAKNYA SOBRA KO NA FEEL YUNG CONCERN NYA SAKEN SALAMAT ^^ KUTTON KEDNii


DECEMBER 19 20 21 ,2008

PINAG ISA KO NA DAHIL IISA LANG NAMAN NARAMDAMAN KO DEAN
SOBRANG SAYA SOBRANG IYAK NA HAGULGOL NA TLGA
SAGAD NA ! WASAK NA YUNG NARARAMDAMAN KO
NAKA USAP KO SYA BY THE PHONE AUN MASAYA , MASAYA AT MASAYA
HINDI KO MA EXPLAIN PERO KAHIT GANUN NASASAKTAN TLGA AKO
O TLGANG SADYANG MA DRAMA LANG AKO ? ;]

DECEMBER 22 2008 12 am-4:30 am

IT'S OFFICIAL ou kame na ;]
haha ! hamush mush mush !
ang tagal ko hinintay sabihin yung nararamdaman ko parang
naka hinga ako ng maluwag ahah !
parang problema lang ee nu ?! haha !


december 22 2008 10 am

WAPAK ! ang sakeet ;[
grabe akala ko YUN NA YUN may sasagad pa pala sa iniyak ko ng 4 na araw , sabe ng papa ko iwasan ko daw maramdaman na ma inlove dahil bata pa ako masasaktan lng daw ako dean OO alam ko na ean
kasali tlga ean kahit mag ulitan pa ng tlgang kasali yan
pero hindi ko ni expect na ganito ka bilis wala pang isang araw iyak na nmn ? at tinalo pa iyak ko nung retreat kung nung retreat eh walang sounds naka mute ang iyak ko at pahid pahid lang ng luha eh eto ngayon iyak ko eh naka loud speaker na ! hayop ! TINDI !
sobrang saket yung sarile ko para ng robot ang kaya ko lang sagutin eh OO at HINDE at pag sumobra pa don ang sasabihin ko eh maiiyak na ko yung kilos ko parang lutang .yung puso ko parang malalaglag lagi ko hinahawakan yung hininga ko parang anytime mawawala .
ayoko na i explain kung baket ano dahilan at bat ako nag kaganyan
ou nga PAST is PAST pero basta haaha kakaiba marame pa imagine mo nlng ;]


december 24 2008
hay ! noche buena na dahil tulog na mga kamag anak ko
naki join nlng ako sa tulog ni isa walang bumate
si mama ni try tumawag pero sira yung signal (apology accepted)
si ate ako na tumatawag wala abnormal din yung operator
at si mush .. ahoy ! never mind ewan ..


**
at ngayon andito nako sa CAVITE sa bahay sa harap ng computer
at nanonood ng itaktak mo haha ! yung nararamdaman ko
gusto ko maging HONEST ayoko na .. actually gusto ko pa pinipilit ko nga sarile ko na ma fall ulit pero tinatamad ata ..
yung naramdaman ko na yon eh sobra kahit hindi ko inutos sa nararamdaman ko eh kusa na syang nawala . napagod na ata pero maganda narin yon may sarileng isip ang puso ko alam nya nasasaktan na sya kaya sya na mismo yung tinamad at nag sawa ..
hinihintay ko nlng na sya yung mag sabe na were over haha !
sabe nila ka apak apak daw eun sa pag ka babae ang lalake ang nakipag break pero ewan mas maganda siguro kung sya haha !
LOVE OF OBLIGATION .. love of obligation nlng ang nararamdaman ko

"FOCUS ON CONSTANT LOVE YAN DEAN MUNA AKO YUNG MGA PAG IBIG EMOTION FEELINGS NA HINDI NAG BABAGO SUCH AS FAMILY AND FRIENDS ;]"


** kung mabasa mo to mas maganda na kung
wag mo nlng sabihin saken wala ng pa alam
walang good bye dun mo nmn ako sinanay d'b?
salamat yun lng yung gusto ko sabihin sayo
kulang ata yan word na yan para mag pasalamat
salamat naramdaman ko mag mahal
KORNII ? haha yaan na minsan nlng to
ay hindi huli na pala to about this issue



**masyadong mahaba kung narating mo hangang dito eh
salamat natiis mo ang teleserye ng buhay ko ;]
PEACE OF MIND yan muna gusto ko atupagin
no change account number hairstyle lifestlye
kaya ko tumayo uli ng walang pinapalitan ;]
** HINDI PA KAME BREAK OK HAHA ! PERO
IN HEART YES I AM SINGLE AND TRYING TO BE CONTENTED
ON WHAT I HAVE ..
KAYA YAN ! SINGLE AND CONTENTED ;]

CASE CLOSED

12-29-08
12:50 pc TIME